Skip to content

March Madness Survival Guide

Mar 21, 2013, 7:00 AM EDT

NCAA Men's Championship Game - Kansas v Kentucky Getty Images

Today is the day.

Right up there with St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco De Mayo, The Kentucky Derby, and the Superbowl, the first Thursday of March Madness is one of the best five days on the calendar.

Because today carries such weight, such great importance, we cannot take it lightly. We must be prepared.

Pre-game Instructions:
There are two schools of though regarding Thursday viewing. Both require you to skip work. But you should have already taken care of this.

Seriously, skip work. Fake an illness if you have to. Hell, actually get sick. This is not a day you want to spend to spend at the office.

Anyways, some people will choose to spend the day at a sports bar, surrounded by friends, food & drink and dozens of TVs. This is not a bad option for the casual fan. The atmosphere of a sports bar on the first Thursday goes virtually unrivaled, and provides for an exciting day of entertainment and revelry.

But the sports bar is often littered with distractions that could keep you from maximizing your viewing intake. While hanging out with your friends, chowing down on burgers and interacting with the random Northwestern State fan is fun, it’s not the most efficient means of viewing.

The real fan will instead find an abode within local proximity. Maybe it’s your own, maybe it’s your friends’, or perhaps it’s the empty home down the street being remodeled. Just make sure it has a large HDTV screen, comfortable viewing seats, and plenty of space for extra monitors, platters of food and cold beverages. These intimate viewing stations should never exceed five people, and should be located somewhere away from the sun, domesticated animals and significant others.

The Setup:
– Flat screen HDTV w/ surround sound (at least 36″)
– Auxiliary television (preferably 22″ or larger. HD recommended)
– Laptop
– External Monitor
– Smart phone w/ March Madness on Demand app
– iPad or Tablet (not necessary, but recommended)
– La-Z-Boy recliner or similar armchair (large couches will suffice, but only with a maximum capacity of two people)
– Coffee table large enough to hold laptop, large pizza, nacho platter and buffalo wings

Food & Beverage
If you are going to prepare food, make sure it’s ready to go well in advance of the first tip-off (12:15 p.m. est) Personally, I’d recommend ordering food. It’s easy and time-efficient. Yes, your buddies may criticize you if you order sushi, but at least you won’t miss any game time, and that’s the key. You know there’s a guy out there somewhere who missed the Bryce Drew shot because he was checking on his jalapeno poppers. Don’t become this guy.

Adult beverages should be handled with caution. Remember, today is a marathon, not a sprint. Not managing your intake will result in a serious case of “The ‘Itis”. This is not Thanksgiving. This is March Madness. There is no time for a mid-afternoon nap. You can sleep in April.

The Schedule
With Turner’s decision to stagger-start the games throughout the day, there is no real “dead period”. But trust us, this is a good thing. Old tournament formats would subject the viewer to two hours of local news. We want Madness, not weather traffic updates.

But still, the 5-7 p.m. block of time is when the least amount of action takes place, so if you really need to do something important, like say, picking your son up from lacrosse practice, this is probably when you should take care of that. But if there was ever a time to let your kid figure out how to get home by himself, it’s today. Tell him it’s a character-building exercise.

But seriously, there’s not a lot of time to do any non-March Madness activities.

Thursday Schedule:
12:15 p.m. – Valparaiso (14) vs. Michigan State (3) – CBS
12:40 p.m. – Bucknell (11) vs. Butler (6) – Tru TV
1:40 p.m. – Wichita State (9) vs. Pittsburgh (8)- TBS
2:10 p.m. – New Mexico State (13) vs. Saint Louis (4) – TNT
2:45 p.m. – Saint Mary’s (11) vs. Memphis (6) – CBS
3:10 p.m. – Davidson (14) vs. Marquette (3) – tru TV
4:10 p.m. – Southern (16) vs. Gonzaga (1) – TBS
4:40 p.m. – Oregon (12) vs. Oklahoma State (5) – TNT
6:50 p.m. – North Carolina A&T (16) vs. Louisville (1) – TBS
7:15 p.m. – South Dakota State (13) vs. Michigan (4) – CBS
7:20 p.m. – Belmont (11) vs. Arizona (6) – TNT
7:27 p.m. – California (12) vs. UNLV (5) – Tru TV
9:20 p.m. – Missouri (9) vs. VCU (5) – CBS
9:45 p.m. – Akron (12) vs. Virginia Commonwealth (5) – CBS
9:50 p.m. – Harvard (14) vs. New Mexico (3) – TNT
9:57 p.m. – Montana (13) vs. Syracuse (4) – Tru TV

If you find yourself struggling to make it through Day 1, reach out to @TroyMachir on Twitter, and he will provide you with all the necessary on-the-go survival tips.

Latest Posts
  1. Assigned Reading: The rise and fall of Curtis Malone

    Aug 20, 2014, 8:00 PM EDT

    dc-assault.org dc-assault.org

    Curtis Malone is serving a 100-month sentence after pleading guilty to being a part of a drug ring that brought in $80,000 in profits per month.

  2. Oregon State freshman hospitalized after collapsing during workout Tuesday

    Aug 20, 2014, 6:42 PM EDT

    Jesse Skoubo/Corvallis Gazette-Times Jesse Skoubo/Corvallis Gazette-Times

    A report stated that a blood clot in Chai Baker’s leg may have resulted in his collapsing during a workout on Tuesday.

  3. Report: Former UNLV guard transfers to UT Martin

    Aug 20, 2014, 5:38 PM EDT

    Deville Smith, Skylar Spencer AP

    Deville Smith averaged 9.7 points and 2.7 assists in 32 games last season, making 18 starts.

  4. Mixtape for Duke-bound guard Luke Kennard (VIDEO)

    Aug 20, 2014, 4:45 PM EDT

    Luke Kennard AP

    Kennard is the No. 19 recruit in the Rivals top 150.

  5. New addition to Michigan State program granted immediate eligibility

    Aug 20, 2014, 4:00 PM EDT

    Bryn Forbes, Andrew Harrison AP

    Bryn Forbes averaged 15.6 points per game last season, shooting 43.4% from the field and 42.4% from three-point range.

  6. Expectations have changed for Nebraska after surprise run to 2014 NCAA tournament

    Aug 20, 2014, 3:09 PM EDT

    Getty Images Getty Images

    How can Nebraska build on their surprising, successful 2013-2014 season?

  7. Report: College star won’t suit up for Dominican Republic in World Cup

    Aug 20, 2014, 2:01 PM EDT

    Karl Towns AP

    Kentucky made the decision not to allow one of their stars to head to Spain for two weeks while they’re supposed to be in class.

  8. Nebraska hires new graduate manager, trolls Kansas in the process?

    Aug 20, 2014, 1:15 PM EDT

    Getty Images Getty Images

    Think Jayhawk fans remember the name Ali Farokhmanesh?

  9. Memphis lands a key transfer to boost their back court experience

    Aug 20, 2014, 12:07 PM EDT

    SEC Basketball Tournament: Arkansas v Vanderbilt Getty Images

    The Tigers have zero minutes of experience in their back court.

  10. Indiana lands a final piece in their 2014 recruiting class

    Aug 20, 2014, 11:19 AM EDT

    Tom Crean AP

    Indiana now has six commitments in the Class of 2014.

  11. Oakland head coach Greg Kampe with a unique #icebucketchallenge (VIDEO)

    Aug 20, 2014, 10:24 AM EDT

    Greg Kampe AP

    Kampe over came his fear of heights but still got hit with ice water.

  12. The Ray Kasongo saga takes another turn on Wednesday

    Aug 19, 2014, 9:55 PM EDT

    kasongo

    Ray Kasongo was denied admission from Oregon on July 30, reopening his recruitment.

  13. Northern Illinois unveils its new basketball floor (PHOTO)

    Aug 19, 2014, 8:10 PM EDT

    Twitter/NIUAthletics Twitter/NIUAthletics

    This new court design is interesting to say the least.

  14. Report: Wichita State to play in early season tournaments in 2015, 2016, 2017

    Aug 19, 2014, 7:59 PM EDT

    AP AP

    Take a look at what tournaments the Shockers will appear in over the next few years.

  15. Four-star 2015 guard Jimmy Whitt commits to Arkansas

    Aug 19, 2014, 6:07 PM EDT

    Under Armour Under Armour

    Jimmy Whitt is ranked just outside the top 50 in the Class of 2015.

  16. Highlights from the 2014 Nike Global Challenge (VIDEO)

    Aug 19, 2014, 4:40 PM EDT

    Nike EYBL Nike EYBL

    Stephen Zimmerman averaged 17.5 points, 11.5 boards and 2.2 blocks per game in four games at the Nike Global Challenge.

  17. Nicholls State adds the son of a Syracuse legend to their 2014 class

    Aug 19, 2014, 3:54 PM EDT

    Getty Images Getty Images

    Nicholls State may have a large, orange-clad fan base these days.

  18. John Calipari on whether Kentucky will use platoons this season: ‘I think so’

    Aug 19, 2014, 3:04 PM EDT

    Kentucky Athletics Kentucky Athletics

    It’s how they played through their six games in the Bahamas.