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Eau de Jordan, with a soupcon of Roy Williams?

Jun 22, 2013, 4:16 PM EDT

photo via masik.com photo via masik.com

What’s that smell?

It’s University of North Carolina, the new scent from Masik Collegiate Fragrances. They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time. It’s quite pungent. It stings the nostrils, in a good way.

I’m kidding, of course, but this very real scent is on the market, and selling like hotcakes. The men’s UNC fragrance is currently sold out on the Masik home page (women might be taking a little longer to warm up to the idea – still plenty of the ladies’ scent to go around). UNC is just one of the programs to lend its name and logo to Masik for the venture, however. Fragrances for Florida, Penn State, Tennessee and several other powerhouse programs have been launched to great acclaim over the past year.

There are no bits of real apex predator feline in this one, however, even if you’re a Penn State alum.

For example, eau de Penn State features blue cypress and cracked pepper vapor for men and white patchouli and vanilla for women. Louisiana State’s purple and gold palette is captured by notes of plum, golden bourbon and honey. North Carolina is not redolent of Michael Jordan (a Tar Heel alum), but an Old South combo of orange, jasmine and violet.

As with anything in the collegiate sports world, the current batch of fragrances is mostly inspired by rabid football fan bases, but the UNC cologne gives us some hope. Perhaps the newly-coalesced American Athletic Conference can partner up with Masik to give us UCONN – Awakening the Husky in all of us, or the Big East can launch MARQUETTE – Guaranteed to smell better than Buzz Williams’ game-day laundry. I’d be curious to know what Rutgers: the Perfume would smell like.

There is one big-time school I think should stay out of the market altogether, though. Under no circumstances can I foresee a bright future for a cologne called Pitt.

Eric Angevine is the editor of Storming the Floor. He tweets @stfhoops.

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